The narrative following Bronny James’ cardiac arrest during a USC basketball practice in late July was as predictable as it was mind-numbing. Anti-vaxxers came out in full throat, quick to blame the seemingly healthy young adult’s misfortune on the vaccine. It’s easy to find a COVID conspiracy for all of society’s ills, and it’s gotten so lazy that one can readily identify, and then avoid, wading into conversation with Dr. Mantis Stockton.
However, there are performance artists among us who just see things so idiotically, so completely wrong that engaging with them is unavoidable. Out of the most morbid bit of curiosity, you have to look, knowing full well that it will not only leave you speechless, but also severely dumber.
“I don’t believe LeBron or his family took the vaccine,” wrote a silly man with a funny hat on X. “I believe most elite athletes faked taking the vaxx. No way men in prime physical health injected a rushed vaccine into their bodies. I refuse to believe that. That’s my conspiracy. I don’t know what happened to Bronny.”
So, to paraphrase, the silly man doesn’t know what happened to Bronny because he believes elite athletes faked the vaccine. Look at the big galaxy brain on this guy. Not only are anti-vaxxers wrong, but so is everybody else.
Yes, all of us, the royal us, are the dumbasses, and not the guy who wears fedoras. Perhaps this silly man’s signature hat is the same one used by Matt Damon in the time-traveling epic The Adjustment Bureau, and he’s 17 million steps ahead of the rest of the world because he’s seen every timeline.
That, or he’s just a fucking moron.
