I’ve been wanting to add cacti to my cactus collection for a while now. There are two large windowsills in front of my room, affectionately known as “the oil baron’s sunken lounge,” although one of them is filled with a row of cacti that I’ve been meticulously hunting since 2007 (pictured above shown) is completely empty.
So I want to put more cacti in it.
My sister calls my particular south-facing window sill a “torture garden.” Basically, anything put on top is doomed to undergo repeated near-death experiences – plants being brought to the brink of death and then pulled back to life in their final moments of survival. My existing cacti, in their little stone pots, have been awaiting their torture sentence for the past sixteen or seventeen years. bless them.
But that’s obviously not intentional – I’m not a garden psychopath. It’s just plain forgetting. Indoors or out, they are treated the same as all other plants, 98% of the time they are neglected, and then 2% are frantically overwatered when the inevitable guilt drives me into action.
With cacti, I usually give them something to drink when they are so dehydrated that they sound empty when you tap them. I’m pretty sure I heard the cactus sigh in the torture garden once, and it was relieved when I put the watering can on top of it. Then it made a weird grunting noise, and the soil around it turned black with moisture, as if it was desperately sucking the moisture out of the soil*.
It’s shameful, I tell you: If AI doesn’t take over the world and punish me for mistreating my family’s Alexa (coming soon), the cacti are bound to rise and take revenge.
I bought some more anyway. bigger, so they should be stronger. (?) Hope they’re not used to a life of luxury, because they’ll be in for a shock!
I bought my new plants from a site called Hortology, and the whole article is basically a lot of waffles around the fact that I really enjoyed the whole experience. Horticulture sites popped up when I was googling “large cacti” and I quickly price checked them against a couple of other places to make sure they weren’t extortionate.Cost wise they seem to be on the same level as most other sites but what I like is that they are very clear about what pot size each plant needs And then they have the right pots too!
Gosh, I can’t tell you how much time I wasted a few years ago, buying plants locally and then not being able to find the right pots. I ended up buying them online and still got the wrong size.these things are Heavy – You don’t want to pay return fees for a 25cm concrete planter, I can tell you that for free. So you end up keeping them all, then having to buy more plants to fit them in, and before you know it, your kitchen interior is like Kew Gardens, your walls are crawling with weird aphids, you The unit was covered in creeping vines and curled around doorknobs.
Gardening Discount Codes*
Anyway. I think matching plants to pots in horticulture is pretty easy. I know some other sites do this, but I’ve never been impressed with the look of a planter before. It always seemed like a simple product, while horticulture comes in many different shapes, styles and colors.
I have to say, most of them are on my way.
I ordered two ‘blue columnar cacti’ and an aloe vera plant which has actually been relocated from its new home as it shouldn’t be in direct sunlight. Obviously. (“Oh, you don’t like the conditions, do you? It’s sunny here, right? Get used to it, kid. Survival of the fittest.”)
I then ordered three jars – two “cement” jars, which were very strong, heavy, and gray in color, and then a jar called “Alice” which looked like a supermarket caramel or old french jelly mold. I like it.
I placed my order on Monday and got free shipping on Thursday, which was fast enough for me. I don’t think there are faster delivery options, but I can’t imagine a situation where you desperately need cactus or cheese plants the next day…
Wow, my imagination is so rich.
If you want to get £5 off your first order use link here* – It’s not a special membership code, they just give it to you when you sign up, but I do get some sort of loyalty point in return. Before using my code, feel free to ask friends and family if they have a code, if you need it, it’s there.
*As usual, I exaggerate for comedic effect. The plants are growing fine. most of the time. I mean, keeping a cactus alive for fifteen years, and after about seven moves, must be worth something, no? isn’t it?
