This week I did something that felt like maybe a little crazy, and then lived alone in a tree house in the woods. I know. A frightened man in his own garden.
It’s a testament to how desperately I need to get away from all the noise and distractions (imminent deadline I still can’t talk about), I’m venturing out into the wilderness alone, at the potential risk The Blair Witch Project-Style scene, all you need is a small pair of nail clippers and a laptop charging cable (temporary strangulation) for protection. As someone who blocks a hotel door from the inside, even with a reception desk and 24-hour concierge two floors down, I can’t believe I would willingly go to the wilderness.
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But look; I’m making it all sound a little creepy. Clear your mind about the Blair Witch thing, it’s just a little drama for the introduction, for this treehouse, Lark Tree House in KIP’s Hideout, simply one of the most relaxing, beautiful and secluded places I’ve ever stayed. anywhere.
If you crave solitude, if you crave the sound of birdsong and the rustle of trees, forget about hotel breaks: stay two nights here and enjoy the open-air tub, fire pit on the deck, and secret walkways that meander through the woods… at Stayed here for two nights and it was as if your mind and soul were reset in some way. For three nights, you’ll forget there’s nothing else in the world. You know when you have absolutely nothing to do?and you have nothing able Do? So you’re just getting a little lazy, as if you’re running in standby mode instead of actually turning it on?
That’s how Skylark makes me feel. Remember, it makes me feel this way even though I’m typing four thousand words a day on my laptop, mostly herbal tea, and only occasionally getting up to shake and stretch. In fact, it’s the perfect place to count my word count before the deadline — which I — can’t — yet — because it’s so utterly, beautifully silent.
Although half of the treehouse is completely open-air, including a stunning and very photogenic outdoor kitchen and the aforementioned tub and deck, the bedroom and shower are completely enclosed in a highly insulated, airtight pod. Huge windows everywhere, big comfy bed, but a safe little (fully lockable) hotel-style room with kitchenette (tea, coffee, oven) and big walk-in shower, and the best location One of the best bathroom glass I’ve ever seen, high up on the wall, it frames the trees outside but retains complete privacy.
Regarding the privacy issue: there are other tree houses (six houses in total), but they are far apart. Upon arrival, my heart literally sank when I heard the faint, melodious voice of someone else’s child (because who wants to hear someone’s child when they’re trying to relax?) but when I leaned out and tried to find Maybe scare them away with an evil look, the tree house they’re in, my nearest neighbor, is really far away. In fact, you can tell how far apart each one is because the parking spots in the driveway (there are two for each house) are well spaced.
Here’s how it goes: You arrive at the Lark Treehouses via the entry driveway, and each treehouse’s parking lot is marked with a small sign. (They will email you all the information before your arrival.) There is a charging point in each of the small car parks, which is handy if you are an EV owner and want to charge up during your stay. (I’m a new EV owner still getting used to the fact that you can’t just pull into any old gas station and fill up; having a charger at your destination seems like the ultimate, world-changing Convenience. It’s this point in my life. It’s even more exciting than an open-air bath, I think.)
A private walkway takes you down the hill, swallows and amazons style, to your treehouse entrance (lockable, lighted) with doors leading to the most gorgeous little outdoor camp, high in the trees, completely private, and has a roof over the living area so that it can be constantly in use . When I say camping, it’s nothing like camping. This is camping, I guess, for those who like the smell of the outdoors and being surrounded by nature, but don’t want to step into trench feet and need to stay within ten meters of a fully flushing toilet at all times (hello!).It looks like a rustic tree house/camping idyll, although you can find a version of it in Vogue, but it Behavior Like a luxury hotel. All the nicest materials, expensive appliances, a litter box that opens and closes with a button (god how easy am I to please?) and that brilliant, stunning outdoor tub. Only the cows in the fields can witness your soaking.
There is a wood burning stove in the bedroom suite, and the radiators, so I’m pretty sure the place will be as warm as the rest in the winter, but in the summer, it has the door wide open and the outdoor fire pit, just to create a Ambience, if that’s your thing. I didn’t because I was there alone and I was an eternal disaster maker imagining myself accidentally setting my own hair on fire with no one to help put it out. Still, it’s nice to sit and listen to the near-silence after the bird has fallen asleep. My Brixham Harbor Fish Pie is one of those ready-made meals that the Skylark staff can deliver to your treehouse on your arrival. It was delicious. Very welcome because I decided ahead of time that I didn’t want to cook because it was just another distraction, so it kept me from having cereal for dinner three nights in a row.
To recap: You want absolute peace and quiet. You want the luxurious feel and attention to detail that a hotel might provide, but you want something more secluded and private. You like camping-style breaks, but want a good bed, full plumbing, and no humidity. You want that “bath under the stars” you’ve been Instagramming forever, but you don’t want to hear another soul’s voice while lying in it, and finally, you want to enjoy the great outdoors but feel safe and secure.
bingo! I don’t think anyone would regret staying here for a few nights to completely reset. What I like the most is their very strict rules contract that you have to agree to and sign, promise not to be loud and respect other guests. marvelous. You really feel as if you’re the only one there – and it was fully booked the night I stayed.
price? From £250 per night. If you go “glamping” it might be a little more than you think, but it’s definitely not glamping. This is a completely private full hotel suite with a large outdoor space for year round use. (There is heating above the dining table, and the whole space is well lit.) It’s nowhere near as expensive as a luxury hotel suite, but I’d compare it to that; it’s just one of the many ecological touches here, although the materials in the sealed sleeping area are very rustic and natural. Fixtures and fittings are all of the highest quality and no expense has been spared.
I really think it’s hard to leave if I’m not alone. In fact, I booked another night at the end of my two night review stay, so I think that says it all. The crazy thing is, I didn’t even venture out of the tree house. I can’t tell you what a half mile is in any direction, or even an eighth of a mile. I just write and write and write. In my escape pod. That’s exactly what happened.
Lark Tree House by KIP Hideaways
